Handfasting-by-Design             

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The Key To Love                                     
The key to love is understanding...
The ability to comprehend not only the spoken word,
but those unspoken gestures,
the little things that say so much by themselves.

The key to love is forgiveness...
to accept each others faults and pardon mistakes,
without forgetting, but with remembering
what you learn from them.

The key to love is sharing...
Facing your good fortunes as well as the bad, together;
both conquering problems, forever searching for ways
to intensify your happiness.

The key to love is giving...
without thought of return,
but with the hope of just a simple smile,
and by giving in but never giving up.

The key to love is respect...
realising that you are two separate people, with different ideas; that you don't belong to each other,
that you belong with each other, and share a mutual bond.

The key to love is inside us all...
It takes time and patience to unlock all the ingredients that will take you to its threshold;
it is the continual learning process that demands a lot of work... but the rewards are more than worth the effort...
and that is the key to love.

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On Friendship
by Roy Croft also called 'Love' also called 'To my Friend'

I love you, not for what you are, but what I am, when I am with you.
I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but what you are making of me.
I love you for the part of me that you bring out.

I love you for putting your hand into my heaped up heart and passing over all the frivolous and weak things that you cannot help seeing there, and for drawing out into the light all the beautiful and radiant things that no one else has looked quite far enough to find...

I love you because you have done more than any creed could have done to make me good, and more than any fate could have done to make me happy.

You have done it without a touch, without a word, without a sign.
You have done it by being yourself.
Perhaps that is what being a friend means after all.

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What is Love?
By Susan Polis Schutz

Love
Love is the strongest feeling known
an all -encompassing passion
an extreme strength
an overwhelming excitement

Love is trying not to hurt the other person
trying not to change the other person
trying not to dominate the other person
trying not to deceive the other person

Love is understanding each other
listening to each other
supporting each other
having fun with each other.

Love is not an excuse to stop growing
not an excuse to stop making yourself better
not an excuse to lessen one's goals
not an excuse to take the other person for granted

Love is being completely honest with each other
finding dreams to share
working towards common goals
sharing responsibilities equally

Everyone in the world wants to love
Love is not a feeling to be taken lightly
Love is a feeling to be cherished, nurtured and cared for
Love is the reason for life

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From This Day Forward
(author unknown)

From this day forward, let us laugh together, and plan together,
let us find our favorite places, and go together...
Let us enjoy the sunshine, and the rain,
being alone together, and in crowds together...
From this day forward, together,
Let us love!
Let Us Walk Together
Let us walk together yet not as one, but such that our shadows are separate and distinct, such that our souls are unbound and free.
Let us share our time, yet do not give all your time, nor take all of mine for in order to develop to the fullest, to be free, we must have solitude and individuality.

Let me wander in solitude, when I need to be alone, yet be near, when I need you.
Let us share our love.
Give freely of your love, but do not smother me, my soul must breathe a free air.
Take my love, but do not demand it, for love given of obligation, is stale and without life.
Let us share our lives.

Share my life, but do not try to shape it.
Let me share your life, but do not let it revolve around me.
Let us share ourselves.
Accept me as I am, do not attempt to change me to fit your dreams.
Respect me for what I am, not for what I was or one day may be.
Share yourself with me, but do not allow me to limit your freedom or bind your soul.
Let us share our minds, thoughts, goals, values and dreams.
Let us develop these within ourselves without restriction or loss of freedom

Thus our two free souls, may wander together as they develop in freedom.
As we share our lives, as we walk through life together, know my love is yours, but not my soul for it must be free.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Marriage is a Promise of Love
Marriage is a commitment to life ... to the best that the two people can find and bring out of each other. It offers opportunities for sharing and growth no other human relationship can equal, a physical and emotional joining that promised for a lifetime. Within the circle of its love, marriage encompasses all of life's most important relationships. A wife and a husband are each others best friend, confidant, lover, teacher, listener, and critic. There may come times when one partner is heartbroken or ailing, and the love of the other may resemble the tend caring of a parent for a child. Marriage deepens and enriches every facet of life. Happiness is fuller, memories are fresher, commitments are stronger, even is felt more strongly, and passes away more quickly.

Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes life is unable to avoid. It encourages and nurtures new life, new experiences, and new ways of expressing love through the seasons of life.

When two people pledge to love and care for each other in marriage, they create a spirit unique to themselves, which binds them closer than any spoken or written words.

Marriage is a promise, a potential, made in the hearts of two people who love, which takes a lifetime to fulfill.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From 'Letters to a Young Poet'
Rainer Maria Rilke

For one human being to love another human being: that is perhaps the most difficult task that has been entrusted to us, the ultimate task, the final test and proof, the work for which all other work is merely preparation. Loving does not at first mean merging, surrendering, and uniting with another person - it is a high inducement for the individual to ripen, to become something in himself, to become world, to become world in himself for the sake of another person; it is a great, demanding claim on him, something that choose him and calls him to vast distances.

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Commitment poem of the Pueblo Indian, author unknown

Before we met, you and I were halves unjoined except in the wide
rivers of our minds. We were each other's distant shore, the
opposite wings of a bird, the other half of a seashell. We did not
know the other then, did not know our determination to keep alive
the cry of one riverbank to the other. We were apart, Yet connected
in our ignorance of each other, like two apples sharing a common
tree. Remember?
I knew you existed long before you understood my desire to join my
freedom to yours. Our paths collided long enough for our indecision
to be swallowed up by the greater need of love. When you came to me,
the sun surged towards the earth and moon escaped from darkness to
bless the union of two spirits, so alike that the creator had
designed them for life's endless circle. Beloved partner, keeper of
my heart's odd secrets, clothed in summer blossoms so the icy hand
of winter never touches us. I thank your patience. Our joining is
like a tree to earth, a cloud to sky and even more. We are the
reason the world can laugh on its battlefields and rise from the
ashes of its selfishness to hear me say, in this time, this place,
this way - I loved you best of all.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On Friendship
by Roy Croft also called 'Love' also called 'To my Friend'

I love you, not for what you are, but what I am, when I am with you.
I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but what you are making of me.
I love you for the part of me that you bring out.

I love you for putting your hand into my heaped up heart and passing over all the frivolous and weak things that you cannot help seeing there, and for drawing out into the light all the beautiful and radiant things that no one else has looked quite far enough to find...

I love you because you have done more than any creed could have done to make me good, and more than any fate could have done to make me happy.

You have done it without a touch, without a word, without a sign.
You have done it by being yourself.
Perhaps that is what being a friend means after all.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What is Love?
By Susan Polis Schutz

Love
Love is the strongest feeling known
an all -encompassing passion
an extreme strength
an overwhelming excitement

Love is trying not to hurt the other person
trying not to change the other person
trying not to dominate the other person
trying not to deceive the other person

Love is understanding each other
listening to each other
supporting each other
having fun with each other.

Love is not an excuse to stop growing
not an excuse to stop making yourself better
not an excuse to lessen one's goals
not an excuse to take the other person for granted

Love is being completely honest with each other
finding dreams to share
working towards common goals
sharing responsibilities equally

Everyone in the world wants to love
Love is not a feeling to be taken lightly
Love is a feeling to be cherished, nurtured and cared for
Love is the reason for life

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From This Day Forward
(author unknown)

From this day forward, let us laugh together, and plan together,
let us find our favorite places, and go together...
Let us enjoy the sunshine, and the rain,
being alone together, and in crowds together...
From this day forward, together,
Let us love!
Let Us Walk Together
Let us walk together yet not as one, but such that our shadows are separate and distinct, such that our souls are unbound and free.
Let us share our time, yet do not give all your time, nor take all of mine for in order to develop to the fullest, to be free, we must have solitude and individuality.

Let me wander in solitude, when I need to be alone, yet be near, when I need you.
Let us share our love.
Give freely of your love, but do not smother me, my soul must breathe a free air.
Take my love, but do not demand it, for love given of obligation, is stale and without life.
Let us share our lives.

Share my life, but do not try to shape it.
Let me share your life, but do not let it revolve around me.
Let us share ourselves.
Accept me as I am, do not attempt to change me to fit your dreams.
Respect me for what I am, not for what I was or one day may be.
Share yourself with me, but do not allow me to limit your freedom or bind your soul.
Let us share our minds, thoughts, goals, values and dreams.
Let us develop these within ourselves without restriction or loss of freedom

Thus our two free souls, may wander together as they develop in freedom.
As we share our lives, as we walk through life together, know my love is yours, but not my soul for it must be free.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Marriage is a Promise of Love
Marriage is a commitment to life ... to the best that the two people can find and bring out of each other. It offers opportunities for sharing and growth no other human relationship can equal, a physical and emotional joining that promised for a lifetime. Within the circle of its love, marriage encompasses all of life's most important relationships. A wife and a husband are each others best friend, confidant, lover, teacher, listener, and critic. There may come times when one partner is heartbroken or ailing, and the love of the other may resemble the tend caring of a parent for a child. Marriage deepens and enriches every facet of life. Happiness is fuller, memories are fresher, commitments are stronger, even is felt more strongly, and passes away more quickly.

Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes life is unable to avoid. It encourages and nurtures new life, new experiences, and new ways of expressing love through the seasons of life.

When two people pledge to love and care for each other in marriage, they create a spirit unique to themselves, which binds them closer than any spoken or written words.

Marriage is a promise, a potential, made in the hearts of two people who love, which takes a lifetime to fulfill.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From 'Letters to a Young Poet'
Rainer Maria Rilke

For one human being to love another human being: that is perhaps the most difficult task that has been entrusted to us, the ultimate task, the final test and proof, the work for which all other work is merely preparation. Loving does not at first mean merging, surrendering, and uniting with another person - it is a high inducement for the individual to ripen, to become something in himself, to become world, to become world in himself for the sake of another person; it is a great, demanding claim on him, something that choose him and calls him to vast distances.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here's a mandap explanation.

Today we bless this union under a mandap.  In Vedic tradition, it
represents sanctity, shelter, and peace.  The four poles correspond
to the four cardinal directions, as the couple’s love will span to
the four corners of the earth.  The sides of the mandap are open, as
the couple’s home and arms will remain open to family and friends.

  
An Irish Wedding Blessing
You are the star of each night,
You are the brightness of every morning,
You are the story of each guest,
You are the report of every land.
No evil shall befall you, on hill nor bank,
In field or valley, on mountain or in glen.
Neither above, nor below, neither in sea,
Nor on shore, in skies above,
Nor in the depths.
You are the kernel of my heart,
You are the face of my sun,
You are the harp of my music,
You are the crown of my company.

Scottish Blessing of the Elements
Deep peace
of the running wave to you
Deep peace
of the flowing air to you
Deep peace
of the quiet earth to you
Deep peace
of the shining stars to you
Deep peace
of the spirit of peace to you.
 
  
An Irish Wedding Blessing
You are the star of each night,
You are the brightness of every morning,
You are the story of each guest,
You are the report of every land.
No evil shall befall you, on hill nor bank,
In field or valley, on mountain or in glen.
Neither above, nor below, neither in sea,
Nor on shore, in skies above,
Nor in the depths.
You are the kernel of my heart,
You are the face of my sun,
You are the harp of my music,
You are the crown of my company.

Scottish Blessing of the Elements
Deep peace
of the running wave to you
Deep peace
of the flowing air to you
Deep peace
of the quiet earth to you
Deep peace
of the shining stars to you
Deep peace
of the spirit of peace to you.

SUFI POETRY                   Intoxicated by the Wine of Love.
From each a mystic silence Love demands.
What do all seek so earnestly? 'Tis Love.
What do they whisper to each other? Love.
Love is the subject of their inmost thoughts.
In Love no longer 'thou' and 'I' exist,
For Self has passed away in the Beloved.
Now will I draw aside the veil from Love,
And in the temple of mine inmost soul,
Behold the Friend; Incomparable Love.
He who would know the secret of both worlds,
Will find the secret of them both, is Love.

      Farid ud Din Attar - translation Margaret Smith -The Jawhar Al-Dhat   FROM THE ODYSSEY - Homer

"There is nothing nobler or more admirable
Than when two people who see eye to eye
Keep house as man and wife, confounding
Their enemies and delighting their friends