Handfasting-by-Design            

Blessing of the Hands
If desired, this can be inserted before the binding of the hands in the ritual, or anywhere else you see fit.

Priestess:
(Bride), please face (Groom), and hold his hands, palms up, so you may see the gift that they are to you.

(Bride and Groom should be facing each other, his upturned hands resting in hers.)

These are the hands, young and strong and vibrant with love, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as he promises to love you all the days of his life.

These are the hands you will place with expectant joy against your stomach, until he too, feels his child stir within your womb.

These are the hands that look so large and clumsy, yet will be so gentle as he holds your baby for the first time.

These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.

These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes: tears of sorrow and tears of joy.

These are the hands that will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or grief rack your mind.

These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and brush your cheek as they raise your face to look into his eyes: eyes that are filled completely with his love and desire for you.

Priest:
(Groom), please hold (Bride)'s hands, palms up, where you may see the gift that they are to you.

(Bride should now place her upturned hands in the Groom's hands.)

These are the hands that are smooth, young, and carefree, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as she pledges her love and commitment to you all the days of her life.

These are the hands that will hold each child in tender love, soothing them through illness and hurts, supporting and encouraging them along the way, and knowing when it's time to let go.

These are the hands that will massage tension from your neck and back in the evenings, after you've both had a long hard day.

These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times. They are the hands that will comfort you when you are sick or console you when you are grieving.

These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.

These are the hands that will hold you in joy and excitement and hope.

These are the hands that will give you support as she encourages you to chase down your dreams. Together, everything you wish for can be realized.

Priest and/or Priestess:
Lovely Goddess, bless the hands that you see before you this day. May they always be held by one another. Give them the strength to hold on during the storms of stress and the dark of disillusionment. Keep them tender and gentle as they nurture each other in their love. Help these hands to continue building a relationship founded in your grace, rich in caring, and devoted to reaching for your perfection. May (Bride) and (Groom) see their four hands as healer, protector, shelter, and guide.

  
 
Sacred Lesbian Handfasting
NOTE: I wrote this ritual using two women's names to keep from having to constantly write "partner one" and "partner two" or some other tiresome convention. Please feel free to mod

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[Priestess or designated reader reads this portion aloud.]

Alone, awesome, complete within Herself, the Goddess, She whose name cannot be spoken, floated in the abyss of the outer darkness, before the beginning of all things. And as She looked into the curved mirror of black space, She saw by her own light her radiant reflection, and fell in love with it. She drew it forth by the power that was in Her and made love to Herself, and called Her "Miria, the Wonderful".

Their ecstasy burst forth in the single song of all that is, was, or ever shall be, and with the song came motion, waves that poured outward and became all the spheres and circles of the worlds. The Goddess became filled with love, swollen with love, and She gave birth to a rain of bright spirits that filled the worlds and became all beings.

[The above is an exerpt from oral Faery Wicca tradition.]

All began in love; all seeks to return to love. Love is the law, the teacher of wisdom, and the great revealer of mysteries.

[Priestess says:]
We have come there today to witness the union of Jayna and Rachel. The rite that celebrates their love and commitment is the ancient Celtic ritual of handfasting.

[Insert partner #1's vows here, below is an example, but you should/can make sure you put in your own, exactly what you with to swear to, and take out the things that do not have meaning for you as a couple.]

[Jayna says her vows:]
Rachel, I promise to treat you with loving respect
I promise to mend my own mistakes, and forgive easily
I promise to defend and support you
I will walk beside you on our path, but I will not try to choose for you, nor ask you to make the my decisions for me.
I vow to communicate and grow in understanding, from this day forth,
So mote it be.

[Rachel says her vows:]
I promise not to isolate you on a pedestal,
Expecting perfection,
nor to demean you or take you for granted.
I will listen to you closely, and
Speak to you honestly
I will hold your welfare equal or greater than my own
I vow to put our relationship of the utmost importance,
I promise to work alongside you,
To use my creative energy and the labor of my hands for the benefit of our family.
As I have sworn it, so mote it be.

Priestess:]
I will now wind the ribbon around your joined hands to symbolize your union
Once for the maiden,
Twice for the mother,
And thrice for the crone
.

[Each partner say in turn:]
The light of the goddess within me recognizes and honors he goddess within you.

[Priestess:]
May you hold your mutual well-being foremost in your hearts and minds. You are now weeded in the sight of the Gods, and those gathered here who represent your human community For as long as love shall last.
[or insert your the time specification here.]

[Priestess:]                                                        
So Mote it Be
You may kiss to seal  your pledge               

--Zaratyst 3/20/200 
  

 
Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for each other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there will be no loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you. May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years, May happiness be your companion and your days together be good and long upon the earth. Treat yourself and each other with respect, and remind yourself often of what brought you together.  Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves.  When frustration, difficulties and fear assail you relationship-as they sometimes do, remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part that seems wrong.  In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face of the Sun in your lives, Remember that even if you loose sight of it for a moment the sun is still there.  And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight.

Woman/Woman  

Goddess Lunar Wedding                                                 

When the moon comes down,                                                                                
And the moon ignites In my ivy crown,
I attend the rites of tribe in the sacred space
Gather We will worship at the well Goddess to Goddess,
face to face Our hearts purpose here to tell                                        
We two wish to join in loves sweet bond,
my strength to your strength, this pledge I made. 
Union of lovers, now and beyond,
With Lunaaa's Blessing, the foundation is laid. 
Life partners we've chosen, Let our patience be vast.  
Let growth never be frozen, so long as love shall last.

-Zaratysy 4/4/2002

Handfasting - Full Ceremonial Form
PLEASE NOTE:
This ritual is based roughly upon the beautiful one that can be found in Ed Fitch's book "Magical Rites from the Crystal Well", published by Llewellyn. The following is a standardized form for the full ceremonial handfasting. When in actual use, this ritual may be further embellished to suit the taste of couple to be joined.

Participants:
        1.] High Priest           5.] Caller of North
        2.] High Priestess        6.] Caller of West
        3.] Bride                 7.] Caller of South
        4.] Groom                 8.] Caller of East

Before the ceremony can begin, the area chosen is traditionally swept free of debris and negativity by the Maiden of the Broom, once done the ceremony commences.

High Priestess:
With sword, starting at North, circling deosil, the parameter of the circle three times
"Three times round,
Once for the Daughter,
Twice for the Crone,
Thrice for the Mother,
who sits on the throne."

High Priest:
Announced in strong Voice
I humbly ask the attendance of the Elementals of life!

Caller of East:
Said in strong voice, whilst pouring water into a bowl
"Welcome, O'powers of Water! Bless this couple with a love as deep as any ocean! May richness of body, of soul and of spirit be theirs ever more!

Places bowl at eastern point of the circle, bows & retires

Caller of South:
Said in Strong Voice, whilst lighting a red candle
"Welcome, O'powers of Fire! Ignite the Passion and the Love for this blessed pair. Ever burning, yet never consuming one or the other!"

Places candle at southern point of circle, bows & retires

Caller of West:
Said in Strong Voice, whilst igniting incense in censer
"Welcome, O'powers of Air! With clever fingers weave tightly the bonds of Heart, Spirit and Love between these two! Let none undo the fabric of their love!

Places censer at western point of circle, bows & retires

Caller of North:
Said in Strong Voice, whilst filling bowl with soil
"Welcome, O'powers of Earth! Bless this man, this woman with thy strength and wisdom. To be theirs as long as love lasts!"

Places bowl at northern point of circle, bows & retires

Callers, East, South, West & North :
Said in Strong Voice, in Unision
"Gracious Goddess, Gentle God,
Grant this blessed pair
thy love and protection."
"Blessed Be!"

High Priest:
In strong voice
"Who comes forth at this time to petition the Lord and Lady's Attention?"

Caller of East:
Said as caller draws bride into the circle
"This Lady"

Caller of West:
Said as caller draws groom into circle
"and this Man."

High Priestess:
Said in Strong Voice
"And their reason?"

Couple to be joined:
In unision
"For the beauty of love!"

High Priest:
In strong voice, standing before altar, taking man's right hand and woman's left hand.
"We gather here this night/day in a ritual of love. You, ___Bride's_Name___ and Thee, ___(Groom's_Name___ stand here before your friends, the elements, the Lord and Lady to join together as the beginning of a family. For before there can be three, there must be two."

High Priestess:
Joining couple's hands, with them facing each other
"___Groom's_Name___, what do you have to offer this woman for her love?"

Groom:
Groom gets down on one knee
"I present to her my love and my pledge. May I never knowingly or willingly do such a thing to harm, nor greive, her in any form or fashion. Accept this my athame, as a token of my trust. Like its blade, may my love be as strong. Like its metal may our love be enduring. Accept it my love, for that which is mine is yours."

Bride:
Said in Strong Voice
My Love, I accept your pledge, and your love, as I accept thy blade. Know what is in my heart, as I know what is in thine. The magic of my will, of my love, shall ever be thine.

High Priest:
Said in Strong Voice
"___Bride's_Name___, and what do offer in return for the love of this man?"

Bride:
Said in Strong Voice
I present to him my love and this pledge. May I never knowingly or willingly do such a thing to harm, nor greive, him in any form or fashion. Accept this, my jewel, my treasure, as a token of my trust. Just as its bright gleam, may our love glow. Like the stone that it is its essence, may our love be as enduring. Accept it my love, for that which is mine is yours.

Groom:
Said in Strong Voice
My Love, I accept your pledge and your love, as I accept thy jewel. Know what is in my heart, as I know what is in thine. The magic of my will, of my love, shall ever be thine.

High Priest:
Binds couple's right hands in the traditional manner, In strong voice
"With this binding I tie you, heart to heart, together as one. With this knot you are joined in sacred union. May the Lord and Lady smile upon thee, and bless you with health and prosperity!"

High Priestess:
In strong voice
May neither take advantage of the other. For remember what one may not provide, the other may!

High Priest:
Placing wedding bands on the fingers of the couple. In Strong Voice.
"Your Vows have now been heard by all. These rings, like your vows, are without beginning or end. Now placed, they represent a seal of your love and respect for each other."

Offering Chalice to couple to drink from. In Strong Voice.
"This is your first drink together as man and wife. May you never thrist."

High Priestess:
Offering Bread to couple to eat from. In Strong Voice.
"This is your first food together as man and wife. May you never hunger."

High Priest:
High Priest positions the besom and sword for the couple to jump.
"This will be your first act of working together as Husband and Wife. May the sword cut all ties with the old and the besom sweep them away"

High Priest & Priestess lead the couple to jump the broom and sword.

High Priest:
Removes binding and holds it overhead. In strong voice
"I present to you Mrs.___Bride's_Name___ and her Husband, ___Groom's_Name___."

High Priestess:
In strong voice
We thank the elementals of life for their attendance this day/night and ask they go forth and herald this union.

Caller of East:
In strong voice, raising bowl overhead
Hail o'powers of water! Thank thee for thy attention! Sally forth and announce to all this union!

Caller of South:
In strong voice, raising candle overhead
Hail o'powers of fire! Thank thee for thy attention! Sally forth and announce to all this union!

Caller of West:
In strong voice, raising censer overhead
Hail o'powers of air! Thank thee for thy attention! Sally forth and announce to all this union!

Caller of North:
In strong voice, raising bowl of earth
Hail o'powers of earth! Thank thee for the attention! Sally forth and announce to all this union!

High Priestess:
With sword, starting at north, circling widdershin the parameter of the circle three times
Three Times Round,
Once for the daughter,
Twice for the crone,
Thrice for the mother who sits upon the thron                                                  
 
   
                                                                                                                                                                                                      

Marriage vows in Scottish Gaelic (with English translation)
Bóid pòsaidh anns a' Ghàidhlig

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Am fear (groom)
Tha mise <ainm> a-nis 'gad ghabhail-sa <ainm> gu bhith 'nam chéile phòsda. Ann am fianais Dhé 's na tha seo de fhianaisean tha mise a' gealltainn a bhith 'nam fhear pòsda dìleas gràdhach agus tairis dhuitsa, cho fad's a bhios an dìthis againn beò.

I, <name> now take you <name> to be my wife. In the presence of God and before these witnesses I promise to be a loving, faithful and loyal husband to you, for as long as we both shall live.

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A' bhean (bride)
Tha mise <ainm> a-nis 'gad ghabhail-sa <ainm> gu bhith 'nam chéile pòsda. Ann am fianais Dhé 's na tha seo de fhianaisean tha mise a' gealltainn a bhith 'nam bhean phòsda dhìleas ghràdhach agus thairis dhuitsa, cho fad's a bhios an dìthis againn beò.

I, <name> now take you <name> to be my husband. In the presence of God and before these witnesses I promise to be a loving, faithful and loyal wife to you, for as long as we both shall live.

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Suidheachadh nas sine (older form)
... dhuitsa, gus an dèan Dia leis a' bhàs ar dealachadh.

... to you, until God shall separate us by death

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                                                                                                     Tying the Knot Folklore

The old cliche' "tying the knot" has been around for centuries, rope and cord was used for many purposes. The first form of legal contracts, a knot was tied to symbolize legal contracts. A witness would tie a knot if he could not write, he would tie a knot in a strap and it was attached to a document.

Knots and cords were used as jewelry in primitive times. Cords were more common in the betrothel than the metal rings. In ancient times weddings were steeped in superstition, they believed that there were evil spirits out there to harm the betrothed.

There are many explanations for the "tying the knot " cliche'.

In Asia Parsi and Iranian couples would be separated by a curtain and would join hands and their hands were tied together with a cloth and double knotted, then a piece of yarn was wrapped around the couples hands seven times, seven times around the couple and then seven times around the knot.

One source believes the expression comes from Roman times when a bride wore a girdle with knots and the groom needed to untie the knot on his wedding night.

In some parts of Africa the hands of a bride and groom were tied with braided long grasses to symbolize their union.

The Celtic custom known as handfasting is binding of the hands, but it meant a trial marriage. They would be married for one year and a day, which at that time they could make the marriage permanent or go separate ways.

In a Vedic marriage in India one of the brides hands is tied to the groom's hands to symbolize their union.

In Mexico a cord ritual is practiced called the Lazo. A cord is draped around the shoulders of the bride and groom. In the front is a cross of Jesus, which means the union is blessed by God.

In some cultures friends used to tie the bride and grooms clothes together symbolizing unity. Bows and ribbons were traditional wedding favors that signifyed the marriage knot.

In Sinhalese Buddist wedding ceremonies, a gold cord is tied around the fifth finger of the bride and groom. Water is poured over the knot signifying the sharing of their lives.

In a Russian Orthodox wedding an embroidered cloth is wrapped around the couples hands. The scarf is called a rushnychok and is made for this purpose.

Long ago when certain indian tribes wed, the finger of the bride and groom was cut until it bled and then that hand was bound together to mix the blood for their union.

Today some clergy will wrap his scarf around the hands of the bride and groom symbolizing their coming together as one.

In some cultures the knot poses a superstition of evil. A Syrian groom has to make sure no one has placed a knot amoung his clothes. To him it symbolizes impotency.

The knot symbolizes love, loyalty, friendship, duty and the main symbol is unity.
 

  directions on how to make
the cords for your ritual. It It is easier if your cord is made of ribbons. Once you have picked the colors you want for your cord. Take your ribbons and intertwine them. Just as if you were french braiding hair, at both ends of the cord take any extra of the ribbon and tie both ends off. It looks great and is easy to keep after the big event. Here is a list of colors for your cord. You do not have to use them all. Both of you need to pick what is right for you two. I hope this is not over load. Please do not hesitate to contact Elizabeth or myself anytime.

Cord Colon Symbolism

RED - Signifies: will, passion, strength, fertility, courage, health, vigor, lust, danger, Holiday:

Yule, Planet: Mars, Day: Tuesday Astrological: Scorpio

ORANGE - Signifies: encouragement, adaptability, stimulation, attraction, plenty, kindness. Holiday: Candlemas, Deities: Brigid, Planets: Sun, Mars, Mercury Days: Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Astrological

YELLOW - Signifies: attraction, charm, confidence, balance, harmony, knowledge, learning, concentration, persuasion, jealousy, joy, comfort, Planet: Mercury, Day: Wednesday, Astrological: Gemini, Leo

GREEN - Signifies: finances, fertility, luck, success energy charity, growth, rejuvenation, prosperity, nurturing, beauty, health, ambition, counteract greed and jealousy, plants kingdom including herbal healing,

Planets: Venus, Mercury, Days~. Friday, Wednesday Holidays: Spring Equinox, Beltane, Astrological: Taurus Deities: Persephone, Hesti a

BLUE - Signifies: tranquility, understanding, patience, health, truth, devotion, sincerity, honor, loyalty, peace, wisdom, protection during sleep, astral projection Light Blue:

trariquilit~, understanding, patience, health Dark Blue: for a safe journey, longevity, strength Planets: Moon, Venus, Saturn, Jupiter Days: Monday, Friday, Saturday, Thursday Astrological: Libra, Sagittarius

VIOLET/PURPLE - Signifies: power, piety, sanctity, sentimentality, tension, sadness amplification of’ other energies. ~sdom, high ideals, spiritual protection and healing, psychic ability, protective enemy, strength, progress Planet: Jupiter, Day: Thursday Astrological:

Sagittarius

BLACK - strength, empowerment, wisdom, vision, success, pure love, negation without reflecting, unlocking when stuck, banishing evil or negativity~ Holiday- Samhain. Planet-Saturn, Day - Saturday, Deities- The Crone Astrological - Scorpio & Capricorn WHiTE - Signifies: purity, consecration, meditation, divination, exorcism, the full moon,

                                                                         WHITE-Signifies:purity,consecration,meditation,divination,exorcism,the full moon                                                              

healing, peace, spiritual strength, truth, serenity and devotion. May be substituted for any other color. Planet; Moon, Day: Monday, Astrologicai- Cancer

GREY - 5jg~~fl~~ balance neutrality used in erasing, canceling, neutralizing and return to the universe without repercussion destructive energies Planet: Moon, Day: Monday Deity:

Athena, Astrological: Virgo

PINK - Signifies unity, honor, truth, romance, happiness, healing, familial or emotional love (rather than sexual), friendship, affections, unselfish emotions, spiritual healing, banishing hatred Gem: rose quartz Planet:Venus, Day: Friday

BROWN - Signifies: The Earth, grounding, frees, concentration telepathy, healing, skills, talent, nurturing, home and hearth, spells to locate lost objects, protection of the familiars, pets, and animals,

Planets: Moon (tan browns), Venus (all), Saturn (dark browns), Days: Monday! Friday! Saturday Deity: Gaia, Astrological: Capricorn Holiday: Mabon

SILVER - Signilies: purity, the moon, treasure, values, female energy, the unconscious mind, creativity, inspiration, vision, and protection. Day: Monday Astrological Gemini Deity:

Artemis and other Moon Goddesses

GOLD - Signilies: the sun, male energy, wealth, financial wisdom, conscious mind, attracting happiness, activity, intelligence, unity, longevity, prosperity, strength. Planet: Sun, Day:

Sunday, Astrological: Leo Deity: Apollo and other Sun Gods 

Jumping the Broom
The practice of having couples "jump the broom" during wedding ceremonies is both an African American custom as well as a neo-pagan custom.

In contrast to many West African traditions recognized and included in African American wedding ceremonies, the practice of "jumping the broom" is a wholly American addition that developed out of the institution of African slavery in the United States. Shortly after the introduction of slavery to the country, the right to legal marriage was taken away from the enslaved. Slaveholders considered the Africans property, and as property, they had no rights in the eyes of the law. The owners also feared that legal marriage and family bonds had the potential to lead to organization and revolt. Marriage rituals were important events to the Africans who came from numerous richly ceremonial cultures. When faced with the loss of the right to marry, many, ingrained with the significance of the marriage since childhood, created new rituals with what was on hand. Taking vows in the presence of a witness and then leaping over the handle of a broom became the common practice to create a recognized union. Incorporating "jumping the broom" into modern weddings is just one way African Americans today celebrate their cultural heritage.

Neo-pagans have borrowed this simple practice from the African American community, and have incorporated it into their handfastings. Many pagans, as well as non-pagans, now associate "jumping the broom" with pagan handfastings. For pagans not of African American decent, including a broom in the ceremony is appropriate. The broom represents a threshold. The handfasted couple, although still individuals, begin a new life together. Jumping over the broom represents crossing this threshold into new territory, a life vitally connected to another's. The leap that the couple takes over the broom is also symbolic. Starting a new life with another person does require a "leap of faith". But by taking the leap, the individuals make a gesture of dedication to working together through the tough times ahead. Brooms are also symbols of the hearth, the center of the new family being created. The broom also holds other significance specific to Neo-pagan and Wiccan beliefs                  (