Handfasting-by-Design            

Unity Candle Ceremony          Candle or Glass Oil Lamp can be used

A Unity Candle Ceremony can be included in your ceremony. It is usually followed after the Exchange of Rings.
Usually the mothers light the tapers before taking their seats, however you can have children or other family
members take part by lighting the tapers.  A Unity Candle set consists of two tapers and a candle in the middle.
The two tapers represent your individual families and your individual lives before today.  The bride takes a single
taper and the groom takes a single taper and lights the center candle, then extinguish their individual candles. This
represents the closing of the chapters in their past life (Known as the “Book of Life”.) and the beginning of new
chapters as you begin to write a new book as husband and wife! In another version, the tapers are left burning,
representing that even though you have started a new life, each of you still maintains those characteristics that
makes you individually unique.
If you are creating a new family and you do include children in the lighting of the Unity Candle, the bride and
groom can light the tapers for the children and then everyone can light the center candle together. This is a good
way to involve children from a previous marriage.
There are so many ways the lighting of a Unity Candle can work.  Below is just a sample. The officiant will
announce:
“At this time, Allison and John are going to light their Unity Candle as a symbol of their marriage.  These
candles from which they light, represent their lives from this moment on.  Allison and John will light the center
candle to symbolize the union of their lives. As this one light burns undivided, so shall their love be one.”
“Allison will light her candle first, which represents “Love”.  John will now light his candle, which represents
“Health and Happiness”.  The lights that Allison and John have lit are distinct – each burning alone.”
“Allison and John, from now on, your thoughts shall be for each other, rather than for your individual selves.  
Your joys and sorrows shall be shared alike.  May the radiance of this light be a testimony of your unity.  May
these candles burn brightly as symbols of your commitment to each other, and as a tribute to your parents love.”                                                                                                       

Breaking of the Glass Ceremony

The traditional Jewish wedding ceremony includes a “breaking of the glass.” This tradition represents the
destruction of he temple in Jerusalem.  Many times couples save the pieces of glass from the ceremony in a
symbolic box. The Groom is offered a glass on a wooden pallet or wrapped in a cloth napkin, smashes it with his
foot. The breaking of the glass symbolizes the fragility of life, because whatever we see before us as whole can be
broken at any moment. It reminds us of the need to care for one another; for just as glass can be shattered easily,
so can the marriage bond can be shattered with a single act of infidelity or repeated acts of emotional
irresponsibility.                                                                                                       
             Wine Ceremony

The years of life are as a cup of wine poured out for you to drink. This “Cup of Life” contains within it a wine
with certain properties that are sweet and symbolic of happiness, joy, hope, peace, love and delight. This same
wine also holds some bitter properties that are symbolic of disappointment, sorrow, grief, despair, and life’s trials
and tribulations. Together the sweet and the bitter represent “Life’s Journey” and all of the experiences that are a
natural part of it. Those who drink deeply from the “Cup of Life” with an open heart and willing spirit, invite the
full range of challenges and experiences into their being.
Officiant pours wine into goblet and holds it up and states:
”This “Cup of Life” is symbolic of the pledges you have made to one another to share together the fullness of
life. As you drink from this cup, you acknowledge to one another that your lives, until this moment separate,
have become one with the Holy Spirit. (Officiant hands glass to groom, who drinks, then hands it to bride, who
drinks, who passes it back to Officiant.)”
“As you have shared the wine from these goblets, so may you share your lives. May you find life’s joys
heightened, its bitterness sweetened, and all of life enriched by God’s blessings upon you.”
A nice touch is to have the bride pour white wine while the groom pours red. You can then serve rosé at the
reception to remind everyone of the ceremony.                                                     
          
Jumping of the Broom Ceremony

The most widely known African-American wedding tradition is “jumping of the broom”. This takes place at the
end of the ceremony when the couple is departing.  What is “Jumping of the Broom”?  This tradition originated
during the time of slavery in the United States.  Slaves, not having rights as citizens, were denied the legal or
religious rite of marriage.  It is a ceremony in which the bride and groom signify their entrance into a new life and
their creation of a new family by symbolically “sweeping away” their former single lives, former problems and
concerns, and stepping over the broom to enter upon a new adventure as husband and wife.  The straw end
represents the brushing away of all their old cares and worries.  The strong wooden handle represents the strength
of your commitment to each other, and the straight, unconditionally committed path you will follow together in
marriage. Some say that whoever jumps the highest will be the boss of the house! Friends and family members of
the bride and groom sometimes decorate the broom for them.                                        


Knot Ceremony
In the knot ceremony, the mothers of the bridal couple are given a cord, which the officiant later asks them to give
to the bridal couple. The couple ties a lover's knot, which they may save to look back on later.                                                                                                                            

Releasing of Butterflies Ceremony

According to an American Indian Legend, if anyone desires a wish to come true they must first capture a butterfly
and whisper that wish to it.  Since a butterfly can make no sound, the butterfly can not reveal the wish to anyone
but the Great Spirit who hears and sees all.  In gratitude for giving the beautiful butterfly its freedom, the Great
Spirit always grants the wish.  So, according to legend, by making a wish and giving the butterfly its freedom, the
wish will be taken to the heavens and be granted.
A butterfly release is a unique experience.  After you have spoken your vows, hand your bride or groom a beautiful
little box with butterflies in it.  They will be truly thrilled!  Butterflies are symbols of the spirit of freedom and
happiness.  Your guest will surely appreciate this unusual opportunity to participate in the creation of your own
Island beginning! It looks great on videos and photos. What could be more appropriate than to affirm your vows to
one another “on the wings of a butterfly”?  It will hold a special meaning for all to watch as your butterflies are
released like your wishes…to soar into the heavens with good fortune.  Imagine designated wedding guests
releasing butterflies as you emerge together from your cherished ceremony.                      
    Releasing of Doves           

The Flight of the Birds signify a new beginning!! A White Dove Release  is one of
the most exquisite additions to your wedding ~ It is by far the most spectacular of all, and certain to please your
guests!  Snow White Doves being released into the sky above will certainly make your wedding a glorious
occasion! The "newly-united" couple emerge from the church to receive the
well-wishes and blessings of their family and friends. They may opt for an appropriate
poem of love to enhance the release and make the moment even more touching.  One sample of a poem is:
"Behold, you are beautiful, my love, behold, you are beautiful!  Your eyes are as doves behind your veil." You
can find several companies on the Internet who provide information on releasing Doves.                                                                                                                            

Sand Ceremony

If for whatever reason you choose not to use a Unity Candle during your ceremony, the sand ceremony can be a
beautiful and meaningful addition to your vows. Simply find three containers, one for the bride and groom to pour
the sand into, two for each of you to pour the sand from. You can find colored or plain sand at most craft stores.
After the officiant reads the text below (or any text you choose), pour the two containers of sand into the third
container simultaneously. You may wish to leave a small amount of sand in each container to symbolize that
although you are now joined as one, you each remain individuals.
The Officiant will read:  
“Olivia and Nick, you have just sealed your relationship by the giving and receiving of rings and the exchange
of a kiss, and this pledge is a relationship promise between two people who agree that they will commit
themselves to one another throughout their lives. The most beautiful example of this partnership is the marriage
relationship. You have committed here today to share the rest of your lives with each other. Today, this
relationship is symbolized through the pouring of these two individual containers of sand one, representing you,
Olivia and all that you were, all that you are, and all that you will ever be, and the other representing you, Nick,
and all that you were and all that you are, and all that you will ever be. As these two containers of sand are
poured into the third container, the individual containers of sand will no longer exist, but will be joined together
as one. Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so
will your marriage be.”                                                           
                                       
Stone Ceremony
One newly-combined family with five children (plus parents, of course) chose bud vases holding seven different
colors of stones. At the same moment, everyone poured his or her vase of stones into a large Art Deco-style vase
chosen by the parents. Each family member's color joins everyone else's color, and yet each keeps its individuality
as well! I then used my hand to mix all the colors together, and to place a stick of curly bamboo (symbol of joy and
long life) into the rainbow of stones.
When the light hit the glass vase at this outdoor ceremony, the effect was absolutely dazzling!
This vase now has a permanent place in the family's home, right in front of a window, so that the colors can truly
shine!                                                                                                           

Hands of the Bride and Groom Ceremony
The Officiant will say:
“Linda, please face Eric, and hold his hands, palms up, so you may see the gift that they are to you.”
"These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and vibrant with love, that are holding yours on your
wedding day, as he promises to love you all the days of his life”.
”These are the hands that will work along side yours, as together you build your future, as you laugh and cry, as
you share your innermost secrets and dreams”.
”These are the hands you will place with expectant joy against your stomach, until he too, feels his child stir
within you.
”These are the hands that look so large and strong, yet will be so gentle as he holds your baby for the first time”.
”These are the hands that will work long hours for you and your new family.”
”These are that hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of
happiness”.
”These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes: tears of sorrow and tears of joy.”
”These are the hands that will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or grief wrack your mind.”
”These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and brush your cheek as they raise your face to look into
his eyes: eyes that are filled completely with his overwhelming love and desire for you.”
”Eric, please hold Linda’s hands, palms up, where you may see the gift that they are to you. These are the hands
of your best friend, smooth, young and carefree, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as she pledges her
love and commitment to you all the days of her life.”
”These are the hands that will hold each child in tender love, soothing them through illness and hurt, supporting
and encouraging them along the way, and knowing when it is time to let go.”
”These are the hands that will massage tension from you neck and back in the evenings after you’ve both had a
long hard day.”
”These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times.”
”These are the hands that will comfort you when you are sick, or console you when you are grieving.”
”They are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of
happiness.”
”These are the hands that will hold you in joy and excitement and hope, each time she tells you that you are to
have another child, that together you have created a new life.”
”These are the hands that will give you support as she encourages you to chase down your dreams. Together as
a team, everything you wish for can be realized.”
Officiant will then read the following:
”God, bless these hands that you see before you this day. May they always be held by one another. Give them the
strength to hold on during the storms of stress and the dark of disappointment. Keep them tender and gentle as
they nurture each other in their wondrous love. Help these hands to continue building a relationship founded in
your grace, rich in caring, and devoted in reaching for your perfection. May Eric and Linda see their four
hands as healer, protector, shelter and guide. We ask this in your name, Amen.”       
      
OTHER IDEAS                                                                     

The Blessing Stones
When a wedding is outside and near water, Blessing or Wishing stones are either gathered at the site or provided by
the couple not only for themselves but for the wedding party and guests as well. After the ceremony all follow the
bride and groom's recessional to the water, make a wish or blessing for them and cast their stone into the water.
The ripples that are made represent the love and good wishes for not only the couple, but for all the world... as our
ripples cross and re-cross one another's, so do our love and good wishes touch and retouch all around us and those
with whom we come into contact.
Crossed Broom and Sword
 Another old tradition is for the couple to jump over a crossed broom and sword (held by the best man and the maid
of honor). This symbolizes the cutting of ties to their parents and the ties being swept away.




Lasso & Coin Ceremony
A Hispanic custom included in the Tradition-Contemporary ceremony. A Lasso is placed upon the Bride & Groom during the ceremony that symbolizes the binding together of their lives. Sometimes the Bride's veil is draped across the Groom's shoulders. After the Exchanging of the Rings, the Groom is given the Coins that he then gives to the Bride. This is the Groom's recognition of his responsibility to the Bride as a provider                                                   

   Symbols of Life

In recognition of African culture, during the wedding ceremony the
officiant may administer the twelve symbols of life, each
representing the love and strength that brings two families together:

Wine - The mixing of the blood of the two families

Wheat - Fertility, and the giving of life and land

Pepper - Heated times the families will have

Salt - Healing and preservation of marriage

Bitter Herbs - Growing pains of married life

Water - Purity, dissolution of bitterness

Spoon, Pot - Healthy food that builds strong families

Broom - Cleanliness of health and well-being

Honey - Sweet love between a black man and woman

Spear - Protection of the sanctity of home and community

Shield - Honor and pride of the home

Bible or Koran - Symbol of God?s truth and power

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